My Own 9-11

September 11th, 2001.

There are no words needed to describe that day.

I didn't lose any loved ones on 9-11. I was no where near New York, Washington, or Pennsylvania. But 9-11 still touched me. It's one of those defining moments that each generation has, yet would gladly give back if given the chance.

Someone told me to write down what I remember from that day. Braylen was only 2 years old, and some day I might want to share the details with him. I am so thankful I followed that advice. This week I found my written account of 9-11. Derek and I talked to the kids about it. Today we remembered. Here's our account of that day, written from me to Braylen...

"September 11th, 2001 started out as a normal day. We woke up together, enjoyed a slow morning routine. Daddy was sleeping downstairs after working all night. You and I read books and played cars on the floor that morning. We never turned on the TV or radio. At 9:30 am we climbed in the car to go to Walmart. When we drove past the mall I turned on the radio, and this is what I heart: 'The Sears Tower in Chicago is being evacuated.' I don't know how I made it to the parking lot. When I did, I turned off the car and we listened to the radio. It was all very confusing, and nobody really knew what was going on. I heard the announcers speak of a possible car bomb in front of the capitol building. Then they talked about an explosion at the Pentagon. I remember wondering what happened in Chicago, since the Sears Tower was evacuating. Again, it was very confusing.

I remember rushing you into the store from the car, telling you to hurry and stay close to Mommy, let Mommy carry you. Inside the store people were wearing headphones to listen to the news. I wanted so badly to see someone I knew so I could find out what was going on. Through all of this you were very quiet. You knew I was scared, and that made you scared. You asked me if I was okay. I told you that yes, Mommy is fine, but we needed to get home soon and find out what was happening in the news. We left the store with a few groceries and went straight home. I wondered if I should wake Daddy up for this, but when we got home he was already awake with the TV on. He was worried about us because I didn't take the cell phone and I didn't leave a note. I reminded him he was supposed to be sleeping. This was supposed to be a normal day. We watched the TV in horror. You saw the planes crash into the World Trade Center over and over. Later we made sure you didn't see it anymore. The attacks never really sunk in for you, but from that day on, sometimes you'd make a comment about a plane crashing into a building. Like it was a normal thing. A lot of people died that day, and all I could do was thank God for our lives. You, Daddy, me, and the baby boy in my tummy--we were safe, healthy, and together. That blessing became magnified on that dark day in American history."

A few weeks before 9-11, we flew to Nashville to visit my brother and sister-in-law. Then over Labor Day, Braylen and I flew to Chicago to be with my parents and grandparents. We come home just days before all air travel halted. When I think of how different life is now, it's more than just changes in airport security. We didn't have camera phones back then. No high speed internet. No facebook. No blogs. It's amazing what a difference 10 years makes. Here we are at the Nashville airport, 3 weeks prior to 9-11.

Eric, Amber, Sarah (with Kaleb inside), Braylen & Brownie, Derek, Mom, Dad

And then one year later, on the first anniversary of 9-11. Our church had a special service honoring all firemen, police officers, and military. Braylen was 3. Kaleb was not quite 10 months old. Our two sweet little boys. :)

And that is my 9-11. It wasn't an ordinary day after all.

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you."
Psalm 33:20-22

Then & Now {lawnmower}

I'm planning an upcoming blog entry for the tenth anniversary of 9-11-01. Why? 9-11 is part of me. It's part of my mothering. The delivery of my second child. My husband's job. And it will always be tied to my grandma's death, simply for being so close to the day we lost her. While looking through pictures from that time of my life, I found one I've been thinking of all summer. I just didn't have the time to look for it--until now. It's strange to immerse myself in 10 year old memories and then look up to see my 12 year old standing in front of me. Shouldn't he be 2 years old, like he is in my pictures? Like he is in my memories? How easy it is to reflect back on our life as it was 10 years ago. How jarring it feels to emerge from those memories and see my family as we are today. Here's a peek of what I already have tucked away in my heart. What I like to think about when time moves too fast for my heart to keep up.

Braylen on June 3rd, 2001. He's almost 2 years old.

Braylen on June 12th, 2011. He's almost 12 years old.

 And just like that--10 years fly by. He always wanted to mow on a tractor. Now he mows on a tractor and we don't even think about it. About his wish coming true. About the years passing by. I love these pictures. They help my eyes see what my heart feels. Braylen as he was back then, and Braylen as he is right now. :)

Here Fishy Fishy

We took a few breaks from our fall schedule and did lots of fishing, boating, and more fishing. I didn't fish, but I brought a good book along (currently "The Help") . Sometimes so many people were catching, it was chaos on the boat! At one point Derek handed his pole to Kaleb so he could help take a fish off another hook, and Kaleb immediately reeled in his own catch! Everyone caught fish--Aaron, Derek, Braylen, Kaleb, Uncle Brandon, and Aunt Pam. Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Sarena, and Uncle Dave were in the other boat. Can you believe, in that huge lake, that Pam and Grandma caught each other? They each thought they had a big fish on the line!

waiting for the boat at the boat ramp

Aaron had a double catch, with one fish on each hook

nothing is greater than this :)

cousins

we chased the gulls with a bunch of other boats

When we fished in the rowboat on Monday, Braylen brought Matthew along, and Matthew caught a huge large mouth bass! Can you believe we had 6 people and one large dog in a rowboat? Amazingly, we didn't fall into the water!

no book for me on this boat ride, since my job was to keep Ginger in the boat :)

the kids loved seeing turtles bask in the sun

fishing at the club with Daddy

Back on the big boat, the catch of the day belonged to my sister-in-law, Pam. We were about to head in for supper, and she reeled in a 3 pound walleye!

Kaleb holds Aunt Pam's fish upside down.

here's a better view

I just love everyone peeking in over Pam's shoulder. Braylen took this picture. :)

We saved all of our keepers this summer, and had a family fish fry over Labor Day weekend. What a great way to end our summer of fantastic fishing!

Aaron's Latest Craze & our Fall Schedule

It's been almost a month since the demolition derby, and Aaron's still enthralled with the whole experience. Recently he and Derek watched an internet tutorial on how to make your own demo derby cars. This has provided hours and hours of entertainment for Aaron and Kaleb. Even Braylen joins in on the fun sometimes. With school back in our lives, their play time is a bit less. But not much less. :)

Aluminum foil+scissors+a small knife+some of his favorite cars=plenty of demo derby cars to smash. They're simple to make, and simple to fix when they get smashed. And they provide hours of fun for our imaginative sons! :)

This week our soccer games started. Wow, it's a bit nutty trying to get to three different games on the same night! Aaron's thrilled to finally have his turn to play on a team. (His brothers played when they were much younger.) With 10 teams of 7 year old boys, we were sure excited to discover Aaron's best buddy from school is on his soccer team! Yay! Kaleb has fun coaches this year. Also, 8 of the 12 boys on his team are either named Kaleb, Kael, Carson, or Kegan. It's quite confusing! Braylen moved up to the older league, which plays at a different field. He seems to enjoy playing soccer again, after taking a few years off to play flag football. For whatever reason, all three boys chose the same sport this fall. We're having fun watching them have fun!

Youth group has met twice already, and Braylen seems to enjoy it. I hope he loves his youth group as much as I loved mine. On Monday he advanced to the rank of Tenderfoot at Boy Scouts. Because of all the other things on our schedule right now, Boy Scouts will be "come when you can." What a relief to scale back a bit and focus on school, soccer, percussion, and youth group for now.

Kaleb's been having frequent headaches, and I'm not sure what to make of that. My first thought is I need to get him to the chiropractor. But I also wonder if his eyes need to be checked. Or maybe the fall allergies affect him with headaches instead of the usual symptoms. Who knows, but if you think of it, could you pray for him?

Derek's job is in full swing at the high school, like it is every fall. Recently a group of people blessed me in a very special way, surrounding me with love, prayers, and encouragement. I was happy to pass it along to Derek, since he's the one standing on the front lines with these kids every day. Any and every form of encouragement is something to be thankful for!

One of Derek's favorite ways to enjoy our boys? Wrestling with them. :) After a long week of work and school, all 4 of them couldn't get enough.

Lots more to talk about, but I guess that's what future posts are for!